


And This Was His Curse

by Immemorabilis



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, M/M, and things along those lines, fuck why is tagging so hard, get ready for malformed Gabriel, happy moments are scattered here and there, maybe the rating if I plan on writing any smut, tags are set to change, with Jack doing his best to take care of him, with light amounts of fluff and shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:57:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7310389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immemorabilis/pseuds/Immemorabilis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months pass after his 'rebirth', Reaper finds himself in a state of imbalance. Constantly undergoing some form of pain, sensory deprivation or a dead limb due to the erratic cells within his body, it was difficult to do anything. Even walking had become an issue. But luckily enough, Soldier: 76 manages to find him and offer aid, but it's nothing short of a painful trip for both of them. As Reaper internally panicked, Soldier: 76 had externally panicked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunited Once Again

**Author's Note:**

> alright there's like very mild body horror or some shit right now but you just wait 'till I get some brain juice and get down and dirty aka wait 5000000 years and maybe I'll produce one good sentence I promise  
> also first chapter's been edited because I'm never content with my work riprip

_And this was his curse._

Treading on a path between two plains, unable to make sense of his direction. Between life and death since the incident occurred. Fueled by a burning vengeance, but unable to act upon it. Not in a state where his body would literally fall apart. Ever since he’d been reborn, he had barely made any progress on movement. His cells were constantly degrading and renewing within, and the pace at which they did was nothing short of erratic. Ranging from minutes to hours to days, he tried desperately to manage with the pain. Rarely would it take so short a time for him to recover depending on the injury, but to him it would only result in a sigh of relief. The longer it would take to recover, the longer it would mean he was to suffer whilst his body attempted at rebuilding itself. An attempt that would end well, for the most part. Nothing would be healed entirely, but he was surely grateful for whatever had managed to heal up.

For months on end, he’d been walking down the same alley, dragging his feet beneath him with his lungs burning due to the lack of oxygen intake. The sudden blindness or deafness hadn’t helped him the slightest bit; instead it would force him to retrace his steps knowing that it was safe. Granted, the deaf aspect was something manageable, but the lack of sight would stop his progression almost immediately. The days he spent in a corner with digits curling weakly ‘round his shotguns were the most terrifying and painful. Yet it wasn’t the worst he endured.

               But there was one thing he didn’t considered, and that was being in the arms of an old friend. Correction: his old lover. Since his rebirth, he’d not come to think of Jack Morrison. Not yet at least. The only thought in his head was the severity of the pain and what was to come. Granted, Jack Morrison was meant to be killed.

               Meant to be killed, but still fortunately alive. So very fortunately.

               Gabriel stumbled over himself when one of his legs had suddenly lost all feeling, landing face first against the floor. A small groan escaped his throat as his mask shattered into little pieces. The metal tips of his claws scratched against the cobblestone attempting to make their way to his face, but the sound of boots clacking against the pavement in the distance prompted him to freeze in place. Crimson irises were covered by a misty white layer, and with his sight temporarily disabled, it would be more irritating than anything to deal with the incoming threat. Slowly, he turned his head to the direction of the sound. Barely blinking, he took note of the gradual stop in the stranger’s footsteps. Gabriel could faintly make out the sounds of leather gripping... something, possibly a weapon. In these streets, the chances of it being a weapon were much higher than a simple bag of groceries or anything else.

               “...Gabriel?” The stranger asked.

               A name he hadn’t been called in a while, and considering the worry laced with the gruff tone, he could only imagine it to be one person. Before coming to any form of conclusion, he’d wait for another word, or sentence if he was lucky.

               “Is that you, Gabriel?” Once more, he asked.

               “Why are you asking that question when you already know the answer, _Jack_?” He retorted.

               Even in his broken state he’d still be a shit to his old lover. As always the name would roll off the tip of his tongue as endearingly as possible with each syllable enunciated, because no matter what had happened, Jack still had Gabriel’s heart. Every single piece of it. It was the one thing that would never change, even if they had split apart before his change.

               But in Jack’s case, Gabriel’s voice had changed. An unexpected but audible change, along with his appearance. It had grown deeper and raspy, with an underlying dark tone. Though in all honesty, not much had changed. Jack crept forward and knelt by the seemingly limp body, placing his rifle on the floor during his inspection. Tendrils of black smoke emerged from one of Gabriel’s hands, the digits twitching every few seconds. Gabriel’s face was a different matter. The most noticeable change being the irises, the other being the newly gained scars – but they’d only be seen in close proxemics. Such a change could only mean one thing, and for a moment Jack’s heart sped up.

               “...can you see me?” The question was hesitant, evidently so. The only answer would be in the form of Gabriel pressing the side of his face against the pieces of his mask with shut eyes. The solider stretched out his hand, his thumb brushing over the light scars against the side of his lover’s face. Gabriel had to stifle a pleasant purr. Ruining his newly gained image already would only amount to endless teasing from Jack and that was something he wasn’t planning on having done yet. However, it did elicit in a long sigh. Eyelids parted and Gabriel stared emptily in Jack’s direction. The thumb stretched out against the length of the damaged skin slowly, mimicking what he would have done in older times.

               “Not yet,” Gabriel grumbled after a short period of silence.

               “Not yet?” Jack repeated, curious by the answer. Gabriel managed to glance at Jack’s torso, visibly irritated by his response. “Good to know you’re still a drama queen.”

               “Bite me.”

               “Not yet.”

               “Oh fuck off Jack, I can’t see and you’re pulling this shit on me already.” Though it would’ve been a lie to say he didn’t enjoy the short lived chuckle from his lover.

               “Hey, you made it easy.” Jack responded. “Can you at least sit up?”

               Gabriel shot him another irritated look via a raised brow and a creased forehead. A very clear ‘no’.  From there, Jack helped Gabriel sit up. The soldier turned Gabriel over on his back, plucking the pieces of the broken mask off the dark skin. He then stood over his lover, leaning down to curl his fingers ‘round the wrists; the least he could do was help get his upper body up straight.  From what Jack could tell, there was a clear difference in weight. If memory served correctly, it once would’ve been quite a task to help Gabriel up, but now his lover was lighter. Much lighter. It was worrisome due to the fact that Jack didn’t know the reason to the change. Question after question, one possibility after another. Was it a lack of food? Was it because Gabriel was too stressed to eat? Too worried? The change birthed an overflowing amount of questions to which getting an answer to would be a difficult task considering how Gabriel was acting.

               Jack stepped over and leaned down after releasing the wrists, sliding his arm across Gabriel’s shoulder blades to grip his side. Out of impulse, he reached out for Gabriel’s hip but just before fingers were to clamp down he raised his hand to the rib cage and rested there. He slung one of his lover’s arms slung over the back of his neck and gradually rose. As they rose, he felt the tips of Gabriel’s claws grasp his shirt as he had picked up his pulse rifle. The smallest whimper passed through Gabriel’s lips and already Jack started panicking.

               “Sorry, I should’ve been more careful,” he whispered. Gabriel had only responded in a pained wheeze and a flick of his wrist, shaking his head.

               “Don’t be, you have nothing to do with the state I’m in.”

               “Doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you.”

               “What do I look like, a child?”

               “Right now, yeah. Grown man child who probably doesn’t want to explain what’s wrong so I can help.”

               “Fu-“ Gabriel didn’t even bother finishing his response, instead he left it at that with a defeated sigh and hobbled alongside his lover once they had started moving. “…I’m gonna sock you in the face one day, cabrón.” Minutes passed, and it turned into a whisper of a threat, something he thought Jack wouldn’t pick up on. He was right, if it had counted for anything.

               “What was that?”

               “Nothing.”

               “You’re still whispering threats I see.”

               “I said I’m going to sock you in the face one day cabrón, and that day’s getting closer with every time you bring up old shit.” He growled, volume rising with each word.

               “How intimidating.”

               “You’re still an annoying piece of shit, you know that right?”

               “Now I do.”

               “I swear to Christ Jack, I’m going to beat your ass into the ground.”

               “Not if I beat it first.”

               Gabriel was stumped for a moment, mainly due to the fact the last time Jack had said that the results were… very intimate. Cheeks flushed red intimate. Right up to where Jack was taking control and had bound Gabriel limbs together, leaning in close as he hovered over the bronzed body. Close to the point of lips brushing against each other as hands pressed against a dark tors-

               “Gabriel.”

              “…what?”

              “There’s smoke coming from your face, are you okay?”

               “Shut up.”

               “It’s a genuine question you ass.”

               “My response is just as genuine, cabrón.”

               “You need to stop calling me that.”

               “Is it hurting your feelings?”

               “You know it is, querido.”

               Gabriel’s heart thumped against his chest, the curves of his lips twitching to form the tiniest smile known to mankind. It may have only been a few months since the incident, but by god had it been a while since he heard that word from Jack. There was little to no contact during the time that Gabriel had been in Blackwatch, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about his lover. The same had gone for Jack; nights were spent wondering just how the other was doing in their different locations.

               Granted, his pronunciation was still awful. But something wasn’t right, something wasn’t clicking in Gabriel’s head. Why was it that Jack appeared? Why was it that Jack was there during the time that he needed some form of support?

               “…Jack.” A slow shift in volume, mellowed out and beginning to dip into a more serious tone.

               Jack had picked up on the change, but had opted to act natural lest he would give away his position in this scenario. “Yeah?”

               “Why did you come here?”

               “I was trying to get a head start on a chase.” Though his response was clear, there was just the slightest bit of hesitance. Gabriel took notice.

               “I’d be inclined to believe that if you weren’t the type to sleep in.”

               “I’ve changed.”

              “No you haven’t.”

              “How would you know?”

              “I’ve lived with you for years Jack, I can tell when you’re lying.”

               Jack sighed, slowing in his steps until he had reached a halt. “If I told you that someone told me you were in a bad shape, would you believe me?”

               “Probably not.”

               “Shouldn’t you be glad I’m here?”

               “I am, but it doesn’t make sense.”

               “Details like these never slip past you, god you’re annoying sometimes.”

               “And you’re overprotective sometimes, deal with my shit and I’ll deal with yours.”

               “In that case, why ask a question you alre-“

               “One more goddamn word and I’ll beat you to death with my lifeless limbs.”

               “Try i-“ The sharp inhale from Gabriel had managed to shut Jack up, only because it was followed by a violent fit of coughing. He tightened his grip on Gabriel, taking a step to the side so that their hips were pressed up against each other as though they had finally been glued to one another. “Sorry.” Jack breathed, unable to give rise to his voice.

               “Stop apologizing.” Gabriel murmured, taking small breaths in attempts to steady out his breathing rhythm. As much as he adored his conversations with Jack, it was hard to enjoy them in such a poor state. The shadowy mist had progressively vanished from his face and hand, but Jack had stopped altogether and lowered Gabriel to the floor upon seeing the little trickle of blood rolling down the curve of his lip. Gabriel was confused by the action, blinking multiple times despite his blindness. He furrowed his brows together and turned his head from side to side with the first thought in mind being an enemy of sorts around. It was only once Jack had smeared away the blood did he figure it out. Gabriel felt at ease knowing Jack still worried so much for him, and once more he repressed another action to show his need for attention.

               Once it was cleared, Jack returned them to their previous position and began making their way towards his current apartment. Down the gloomy alleyways and abandoned streets, cars scattered here and there with a visible layer of dust coating the vehicles. Every once in a while he would stop to repeat the action, and every time Gabriel had managed to stop himself from showing affection. It wasn’t easy for him, more so when the urge had started to get out of hand. Having coated himself in layers of black, to show affection would be like replacing the black with pink or white. Or even a mixture of the two colours. Something bright, to say the least. The latter would be the most probable answer. Gabriel shuddered at the idea, leading to Jack asking if it was cold or not since he had felt the tremors. It would be far too early to ruin his image already.

               Up the wooden staircase, each step was accompanied by an irritating creak. Jack would have to brace himself for the impending whinge about the noise from Gabriel, but so long as it would quell the silence in his little abode, he would endure. More so now that it would be coming from his lover. Words wouldn’t be able to describe his love for the voice; however it would take a little bit to adjust to the new tone. Jack bent his knees and placed his rifle against the door frame to spare a hand, immediately going for the keys in his back pocket. After inserting the key and unlocking the door, he picked up his weapon and entered the little room. The rifle was to go back in its resting place within the cabinet by the shoe stand, the keys were to be dropped in its little plain glass bowl and Gabriel was to stay by Jack’s side.

               Jack would be expecting comments on the size, but as Gabriel was currently blind, it would be hard to start a conversation on the apartment. When the comments would come, he didn’t know. Not much had been different from their old one, a bit smaller with close to no decorations. Standing in the walkway, Jack had brought his spare hand to his face and removed his visor, able to see Gabriel’s face as clear as daylight now. After a moment of contemplating where the hand should go, he set it against Gabriel’s ribs. The tips of his fingers descended against the hard material, his palms pressing against his hips to hold his lover in place. Gabriel could only reciprocate the action with one hand, not to mention he had to be careful in case he would pierce through Jack’s clothing and cut into the skin with his claws.

               In his wait for the whining, Jack hadn’t expected for his blind lover to bump the tip of his nose against his. It turned out that Gabriel was leaning forward and tried to take a whiff of the new scent he’d found. The feeling was more than enjoyable. It reminded the two of them of their older days, when they had only recently started dating. It was one of the first things they had done together, granted both of them had promptly moved away and laughed awkwardly about it. Within seconds, instincts had foreheads pressed against one another and they had stilled their bodies. Both men had gradually shut their eyes, quietly indulging in each other’s presence.

               That was, ‘till Gabriel had whispered a question and broke the silence, unable to keep the inquiry to himself. “…what’s that smell?”

               It took Jack a few moments to register the question as he was completely immersed in the heart warming atmosphere. His voice was just on the verge of whispers, airy and gentle. “…you mean my cologne?”

               “I never knew you changed it.”

               “I did say I changed.”

               Gabriel turned his head away from Jack and flared his left nostril, lip rising with it. He was more than tempted to throw his fist against Jack’s face as some sort of freak accident and not at all fueled by his need to smack him for his comments. “…I prefer the old one.”

              Jack barely parted his lids, catching Gabriel’s expression. “I’m not here to cater to what you want, Gabriel.”

              “But why did you change it in the first place, cabrón?”

               “Insulting me over my choice in cologne? I’m hurt, querido.”

              “You just wait ‘till I get the feeling back in my limbs, I’m going to s-“

              “Sock me in the fac-“

               “Don’t interrupt cabrón, I wasn’t going to say sock you in the face, but it does sound tempting as fuck now. More than on the streets.”

               “If you weren’t planning on socking me I’d be worried.”

               He paused for a moment, contemplating on his next choice of words. “Oh? So you don’t want me to say that I’d straddle you after I pin you down to the floor?”

               A grin danced on Gabriel’s lips upon hearing the hitch in Jack’s breathing and the shaky exhale that followed, the tip of his tongue running over sharpened canines eagerly. Jack’s hands had automatically tightened their hold on his lover’s hips but gradually eased into a light grasp.

               “I’m listening…”

              “Well would you look at that… I’m all out of ideas.”

               “You teasing shit.”

               “Unlike some people, I don’t change.”

               “It’s cologne, get over it you man child.”

               “Hijo de puta.” Gabriel hissed.

               “Yeah yeah, yo también te amo.”

               “…te amo.” He whispered, turning his head to the side with what he imagined to be cheeks dusted with a light rosy hue. If Gabriel could see the look on Jack’s face, he would probably be ecstatic. To see his lover’s warming smile and coloured cheeks, what he would do to see them at this moment. “Ja-“ Gabriel couldn’t even finish the name and their loving moment had come to an abrupt end when Gabriel had slipped out of Jack’s hands and crashed against the floor with an audible thud. Eyelids had parted wide, cerulean irises hastily filling with fear. Jack looked down and swallowed hard, unable to blink, unable to think.

               “Ga..briel?” Jack whispered, swallowing hard once deep blue hues quickly settled on the sight of his lover. Once more he called out his name, his breathing growing heavier and quickening by the second. He couldn’t even comprehend what had just happened; they’d been having a simple conversation after all. The realisation took at least half a minute to settle. He had to refrain from screaming in trepidation, as well as screaming Gabriel’s name. His hands sought to grab for something, shooting out for Gabriel’s coat. When he couldn’t restrain himself, shouting his name had done nothing and brought no response. He knelt down and pressed his ear to his lover’s chest.          

But there was no pulse to listen to, save for his own that had started to escalate at a high pace.

 


	2. Regression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reaper? Edgy? Definitely.  
> Soldier 76? Scared of his own scars? Possibly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to gear up for some angst followed by shitposting  
> I'm so sorry but the possibility for banter is just too much for me to restrain my inner shitposter from

Jack buried his face against Gabriel’s chest, trying desperately to avoid the inevitable break down. He should’ve come earlier to Gabriel’s side, as opposed to lingering around the corner. But would it have made a difference? Not in the slightest, but it was something he was attempting to put into his head: that if he had been there for Gabriel maybe the outcome would have been different. He tried blaming himself, like he did with the incident during his Blackwatch days. He knew it would get him nowhere; it was just to serve as a distraction, if one could even be afforded.

Currently, Jack was lost. He wanted to know the cause, the reason for his lover’s health being in such an abysmal state. They had only been reunited for such a little amount of time, and already he’d lost him. Multiple twinges erupted over his body, heart palpitating, blood burning. Worst of all, he felt useless. Gabriel was there. He was _physically there_ , but Jack couldn’t do a single thing. Calling his name, shaking him, chest compressions, nothing would work. The room felt as though it started to close in on him, the walls coming together with the intent to crush Jack into a state of hollowness.

Was there a chance that he had simply been dreaming?

His tears were just on the verge of spilling, filling his eyes with a fiery sensation that eventually drove him to sob against his lover. Quiet, little sobs. After all, he spent at least a month in the deepest depth of despair recovering from the incident. Recovering from his initial split with Gabriel. If he were to repeat that this were a dream, he’d be able to stop himself from completely falling apart for just a bit longer. Maybe a few more minutes at max.

“...much time..”

Jack’s ears perked the moment he heard the tiny utterance, deep blue irises focused on Gabriel’s visage. He lifted his head off the torso and leaned close to Gabriel’s face, barely able to make out his words. “W-what?”

“How much time was I out for...?” Gabriel whispered. He was barely able to keep his eyes open, his breathing falling shallow. The words were slow, almost slurred in his new state.

“A-a few minutes? Maybe? I d-don’t know,” Jack stammered, wandering along the lines of absolute confusion, worry and a pinch of relief. Gabriel had fallen silent, and his eyes shut once more. “G-Gabriel?” He hastily put his ear against Gabriel’s chest, searching for a heartbeat.

“Don’t worry.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘don’t worry’?! Gabriel you _died_! You didn’t h-“

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you not to worry.” Gabriel interrupted. He raised his mobile hand to Jack’s face, stroking a tear-stricken cheek. “We’ve only been together maybe close to an hour and you’re already crying.”

“What was I meant to do? Wait for you to come back and make myself a cup of tea?”

“Probably. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, and chances are it won’t be the last.” The words struck Jack like broken glass, embedding into his skin. Each word was like a shattered piece, digging deeper with the longer that the old soldier had begun to think on it. Even as Gabriel spoke the words, it left a bitter taste in his mouth. He never wanted to say such words, but there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was bear with it and hope to wake up. “You might have to get used to watching me die.” Gabriel could feel the muscles twitch as Jack clenched his jaw.

And here he was, meant to be the Reaper himself.

“...I don’t want to,” came the soldier’s response. The last thing Jack would’ve ever wanted was to see Gabriel die, and those few minutes was just an insight as to what could happen if Gabriel wouldn’t wake up. It would drive him to a state he’d be unable to recover from. The only reason he had survived the previous time was due to the fact that the body had never been recovered, as well as Angela’s attempt at reviving Gabriel. From there it had turned into an endless chase, where at many times it had brought Jack to an abrupt halt in his steps. To go back over and revisit, it had become a daily occurrence. Though with time he had managed to find stable and valuable sources that would lead him to Gabriel, and through many Talon agents, he was finally reunited. Not in the way he had hoped, but it was a reunion nonetheless.

Jack may have drowned himself in blood, but it was for a good cause. A cause that would allow him to continue _breathing_. For Gabriel, he swore he would do anything. And he did, even if it meant he was to take a life or two. Or multiple.

Jack placed his forehead against Gabriel’s chest and inhaled deeply, shifting so that his ear would press against the hardened fabric. Despite the scare it was oddly calming, listening to Gabriel’s heartbeat. Even if it hadn’t been there moments ago. With his lover’s chest rising and falling, so too did his head. He adjusted the positioning of his legs, stretching them out to the side whilst silence had draped its cloak over the atmosphere.

Once a decent chunk of time had passed, Jack had spoken. “ _I don’t want to lose you again Gabriel_.” Whilst the words were mainly intended for himself, he wouldn’t have minded if his lover would’ve heard. Not at all.  

Lids shut, and Gabriel sighed before responding. “You’re gonna be stuck with my dead ass for a while.”

“Thank god.”

“I mean you’re going to be stuck with my literal dead ass.”

Jack paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. The silent cloak had started to lift, and it was only right to induce a change in the saddened atmosphere. “Your ass has always been dead, what are you on about ‘literal’?”

“What the fuc- I see how this is. I hope you miss my grinds, because you’re not getting them anymore.”

“No honey, don’t be that wa-“

“Honey?”

“What? You don’t like being sweet and del-“

“I’m three seconds away from ripping my arm off and beating you to death with it.”

“That’s a new thr -“ Jack promptly stopped speaking and instead started exclaiming in pain when Gabriel had pinched his cheek hard, even going as far as tugging at the skin. Truly, there was no change from the past save for the physical appearances. The emotions, the body language, the way they had interacted – nothing was amiss. One step from Jack would have been followed by one from Gabriel, and vice versa. Like the teeth of well oiled gears, they had worked together.

The layer of white gradually dissipated from red orbs, and finally Gabriel had opened his eyes. The first sight to greet him was the bland beige paint of the ceiling. Less than ideal, considering he wanted to see Jack’s face, though for that he probably shouldn’t have been looking at the walls.

“Your walls are so bland, eugh.” Gabriel commented.

“I didn’t think you were one for interior decora- wait, you can see?” Jack hadn’t even considered how much time he had left ‘till Gabriel would be able to see. It was a matter completely ejected from his head.

“I’m not. What did you think I meant when I said ‘not yet’?”

“I didn’t think it would be this quick for you to recover.” Jack hastily responded.

“I haven’t seen anything for about five days now.” Just as Gabriel had finished speaking, Jack had scrambled to the side and searched for his visor in a sudden panic. The moment he had snatched it from its resting place he pressed it to his face and sat up from his position, giving his lover only the sight of his back. Gabriel didn’t understand the sudden change, but could easily sense that something was wrong. Was there something important about the visor? Or was Jack simply afraid of showing his face? If he didn’t ask any questions, he’d be sure that it would eat away at him sooner or later.

“Jack, look at me.” The soldier didn’t comply, instead averting his gaze away completely from his lover. Now that there was a fragment of life back in his hand, Gabriel propped himself onto his elbows and steadily raised his upper body. A pained groan tumbled his lips in doing so, followed by a heavy sigh.  “Jac-.”

“There’s nothing worth looking at.”

The words answered one of the questions swimming within his mind. “Did you think you could hide behind your visor the entire time?” The silence had brought Gabriel an answer, an expected one.  “Turn around.” There was no inkling of command in his voice, but rather it edged towards a plea of sorts. When Jack had refused to do so, Gabriel pressed his hands against the wooden floorboards and scooted closer to his lover. The sharp tips left little markings against the wood, curled shavings now littering the area. Gabriel leaned forward, resting his forehead against the back of Jack’s shoulder. “Jack, you don’t need to hide your face from me. Look at the state I’m in, you think I’d be in any position to judge?”

“It’s... not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I... don’t know. I can’t tell you.”Jack, in all honesty, didn’t know why it was he couldn’t show his face to Gabriel. Even though he had trusted his very life with him, the idea of showing his scars to his lover terrified him. He had told himself that his face was ruined during his depression, and since it had stuck to him like a parasite. Burrowing in his skin and feeding away at his conscious. Never allowing him to be happy or to simply stop caring about what others thought. Yet here he was, petrified of the thought pertaining to revealing his face. In his depression, a bud of worry bloomed: what if Gabriel would find his scars too disgusting? What if Gabriel wouldn’t want to return because of his scars?

“Stop being so dramatic, I haven’t seen your face in _months_.” From what Gabriel could tell, most of the skin on Jack’s forehead and nose were fine, though there had been a few rough bumps when he had touched his cheek, as well as part of the forehead, nigh a brow. Was he worried about scarring? With Gabriel, of all people? “Are you afraid, Jack?”

The old soldier responded with a hesitant nod. “I know I shouldn’t be afraid around you Gabriel, b-“

“But you’re scared of what others will end up thinking, right?” Another nod. “Jack, it’s just you and I. There’s no one else here. You already know my thoughts on scars.” A soothing voice in hopes to calm his lover’s shot nerves. Jack inhaled sharply, trying to keep his emotions in check before they sprung out of his control. He raised a hand to his face, removing his visor as slowly as possible. Gabriel pulled back and waited silently, his gaze unwavering. Upon seeing the abundance of scars covering Jack’s cheeks, jaw and neck, Gabriel shifted closer. Enough so that he was able to cup his lover’s cheeks and cautiously ghost his digits over the scarring lest he were to cause any additional scarring himself.

“ _Hermoso_.”

Jack wasn’t expecting the near inaudible whisper of a response from Gabriel. When he understood what it was his lover said, tears started to well in his eyes. Though it was, by all means, to be expected. Gabriel pressed his lips to a cheek, lingering before digits stretched out by the other cheek, guiding the distraught visage to his shoulder where he could weep without worry. And Jack did, staining the dark material with numerous tears.

“You look as handsome as ever, Jack.” Gabriel whispered.

A small chuckle passed as Jack sobbed harder in response to his words. The soldier twisted his body so he was able to coil his arms ‘round Gabriel, his fingers gripping at the coat weakly against his lover’s back. Gabriel could tell some of the scars were born through burns and others by cuts due to the way the scars had healed, along with the jagged lines and enveloping disfiguring skin. He remembered the first time he saw scars on Jack’s body; he’d given him far too much shit for it, even if he was in tears for the duration of the talk.

With an arm pressed against Jack’s lower back, fingers curling at a hip and the other hand against the head, Gabriel held him in place. He murmured sweet nothings by his lover’s ear, reminding him that he’d love him regardless of what he looked. He remembered when he had that fear but had only disclosed the information to Jack when they had been alone together, otherwise he’d utilise wearing a mask that helped steel his emotions. Whilst the fear wasn’t of the same calibre, it had definitely been there. And just like before, he’d sit by Jack and remind him that it was natural and that there was nothing to worry about. They were soldiers, the chances of receiving a scar or two were high and this was something they should’ve prepared for, but emotions cause a change in perception.

Jack struggled keeping his eyes open, the hands of sleep drifting over his lids in attempts to lull him to rest. Eventually the sobs had come to an end, and Jack ended up snoozing against Gabriel. As much as Gabriel would’ve loved to get Jack to a bed, every ounce of strength was gone from his body. To the point where he had to lay down carefully and avoid waking his lover up. Thankfully, he was still a bit of a heavy sleeper, though there were times he had opened his eyes for a second and immediately shut them, mumbling something about... fuzzy? What type of dream was he having? With the two of them snuggling on the floor, Gabriel furrowed his brows the moment something had leapt onto Jack’s chest and tilted its head curiously at him.

When did Jack get a cat? Why is it so fluffy? Why is it so... so small?

Cerulean lazily forced itself open the moment he felt the pressure against his chest. He glanced at the tiny multicoloured poof ball sitting at his chest and raised a hand, stroking the soft, well-kept fur. It began purring in seconds, raising its head upwards to get as much out of the pets as possible. The moment Jack had returned his hand to the side, the kitten meowed, almost demanding more pets. When Jack hadn’t responded, it lowered itself and crawled its way to his face to lick at his cheek. “Who’s this then? Do I have competition?” Gabriel asked, a brow raised high.

“If you were competing against a cat, I know exactly who I’d place my bets on.”

“If you say that little poof is getting your bet I’m going to leave and never come back.”

Jack inhaled slowly, shrugging his shoulders. “Guess it’s time for you to go then.”

“Now that’s just rude.” Gabriel mocked offense, almost gaping at Jack.

Jack pointed a finger at the kitten, immediately grabbing her attention which elicited in an all out battle of kitten vs. finger. “This is Maria.”

Gabriel pondered for a moment, a fleeting memory of a similar cat surfacing within his head. “Is she meant to be named after our old cat?”

“Yeah, though it should be Maria Jr. if we’re going by that.”

“When did you get her?”

“Not too long ago, maybe a month?”

“I’m surprised to see you even have a pet.”

“Not originally, she was a stray wandering around here.”

“Aren’t you just the saviour?”

“What can I say? Your love for cats rubbed off on me.”

“Good.”

Once Jack moved away his hand, the kitten turned her attention to Gabriel. Her ears twitched, golden hues narrowing on the claws Gabriel had started to deliberately tap against his stomach. She crouched down, front paws stretched out with the fur of her tail bristled, laying low. She was ready to pounce on those shiny claws, but Jack had stopped her before she could prove she was the mighty victor against the newcomer. “If you’re gonna play with her, don’t wear your gloves.” Crimson hues drifted from Maria to Jack, irritation already etched into his visage. So he did, resulting in him tossing them to his side to reveal thin, bony extremities. “Jesus Gabriel, what happened to your hands?”

Jack immediately sat up, Maria tumbling to his lap with her head subsequently tilting to the side as she watched Jack raise one of Gabriel’s hands to his face for a closer examination. He could see the bone structure clearly, the skin thin and dried. He pressed down his thumb over the back of Gabriel’s hand, gliding it side to side. It elicited a “what are you doing to my hand?” from his lover, but he didn’t stop. The digit hovered over the fingers, resting over the index, middle and ring central slips. Deep blue focused on the elongated nails, more on the shape than anything. They resembled claws, the edges narrowing ‘till it had formed a sharp tip. He didn’t know if it was just Gabriel filing his nails that way for his new look or if it was coincidence.

“Did you do this?”

“Are you asking me if I filed my nails? Me?”

“It’s just a question, stop getting so dramatic about it.”

“Does it look like I have time to file them?”

“Well...”

“Answer that question like an asshole and I’ll cut you.”

“Spooky.” The sharp inhale from Gabriel would bring a temporary end to Jack’s responses, but he kept his focus on the limb. “How do you hold up your weapons with such hands?”

“That’s implying I even manage to hold them up.”

“Is there anything you can hold?”

“Not when they’re like this. It takes a few days for the muscles to regrow, right now I’d barely be able to hold Maria.”

It would explain why it was that they had ended up laying on the floor. “Are your legs in a similar state?”

“One of them.”

Jack’s worry was climbing to a point where it would reach the inability to sit still without looking after his lover. To the point where it would probably annoy Gabriel. Not like he’d be allowed to complain. “We should get you changed into more comfortable clothes,” he started.

“But these are comfy clothes.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“You wanna try them?”

“If it means getting you out of them, sure.”

“Guess I’m never taking them off then.”

“Gabriel stop being such a pain in my ass and change your clothes.”

“You’re not my mother, you can’t make m-“ Jack clenched his jaw out of annoyance and rose from the floor, only to lean down and snake his hands against Gabriel’s back and beneath his knees. He lifted the light lover and started making his way down to the bedroom. “Geez mom.” Gabriel grumbled, turning his head away to murmur insults in Spanish.

“You keep saying shit about me in Spanish and I won’t let Maria near you.”

Gabriel gasped, placing a hand on his chest. “ _You wouldn’t_.”

“Try me.”

“But moooooom,” Gabriel whined.

“No buts. You don’t get to play with the kitten today,” Jack responded as sternly as he possibly could. He didn’t get far.

“Why are you like this?”

“Children need to learn a les-” Gabriel slapped his hands onto Jack’s cheeks, effectively shocking Jack out of suddenness to the point where he’d stop speaking. He squished them together which had nearly brought them both down due to his squirming in Jack’s arms, angrily cussing out his lover in Spanish in hasty hisses with exceptional ‘r’ rolling and lengthened ‘s’s. It would be a pure lie if Jack said he wasn’t enjoying this. What a lie it’d be. If his hands hadn’t been so thin, he’d have probably brought them both to the ground by now. The little ball of fluff scuttled after Jack excitedly, eager for some attention from the both of them.

Jack bumped into the doorframe of the bedroom, arguing with Gabriel about him being a child and in return receiving red cheeks for being unrelenting in his word choice. Calling Gabriel a literal man child with the brain processing of a 4 year old wasn’t the best of choices. Once they had finally entered the bedroom, Jack seated Gabriel on the edge of the bed with little Maria clambering up the blanket to waddle over to Gabriel. She climbed up his lap and beeped at him quietly, flexing her claws against the surprisingly soft material of his pants. Crimson hues drifted downwards, and the tiny gasp that left his lips had Jack pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, stifling any noise to come.

Maria was already doing God’s work in this tiny apartment.

Gabriel squawked the moment he had clothes pelted at his face, the tiny fluff having skedaddled away out of fear of the noise. As Jack had disappeared into the bathroom to change, Gabriel had the bedroom to himself. Stripping himself of his clothes was harder than he thought, the heavy belts and extra accessories wore down his body and now he felt a hundred times lighter. He then slipped into the clothes Jack had passed him absentmindedly, more interested in the thought of finding something to use against Jack the moment he emerges from the bathroom. Upon looking down, he closed his eyes and clenched a fist, lips pursing together.

Jack exited the bathroom in the same attire, simply in a different colour scheme. “I can’t believe you’re making me wear sweat pants again.” Gabriel sighed.

“I can’t believe how good you still look in them.” Jack commented, deep blue glued to the sight of Gabriel’s lower half, more specifically, his rear. It most certainly didn’t help when Gabriel imitated a pose that would have his rear jutted out in all its glory.  

“This ass was made for sweat pants.”

“Shame that ass is dead.”

“Sounds like your ass wants to join mine.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s happy living.”

“Something’s telling me otherwise.”

“As the owner of the ass, I can assure you it’s perfectly happy being alive.”

“As someone who is the very embodiment of death, I can tell you it’s definitely not happy being alive.”

Jack had to stop all together and stare at Gabriel; almost in disbelief he’d said such words. When did Gabriel turn into such… an edgy person? The signs were there i.e the clothes, mask and colouring, but Jack never really took the time to contemplate them, they were there and he just went along with it.  

“I’d say you’re still the same asshole I fell in love with but now you’re just edgy.”

“And you’re just a million years old.”

“I have half a mind to throw your dead ass out the balcony.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Give me one reason.”

Gabriel complied and responded with a gesture to his ass, which, once again found itself extended out in Jack’s direction. Jack squinted at the sight, spheres glancing between Gabriel’s face and the posterior. The idea of inscribing the words ‘death’ in all capitals across the ass section of the sweat pants was there, and he was sure Gabriel wouldn’t mind if he found out the next morning. Hell, Gabriel would probably appreciate it considering his whole ‘emo phase’.

“That’s a pretty good reason, I’m not gonna lie, but you’re still edgy.”

“Would you look at that, you’re a million and one now. Honestly though, how do you already have white hair?”

“It’s calling aging, something you clearly have yet to do.” With that said, Jack took a few steps over to the bed and flopped onto the mattress, on the verge of being absolutely done with Gabriel’s shenanigans. Though he did laugh at the disgruntled look on Gabriel’s face and vague hand gesticulations in which he was probably attempting to flip Jack off with. Gabriel eventually threw himself onto the bed and nearly managed to get Jack flung off through the multiple mattress waves, eyebrows wiggling as he stared his irritated lover in the face. Cerulean rolled and Jack crept towards Gabriel.

The haziness of sleep crept through their delightful atmosphere and began to progressively put a stop to their energetic activities. He turned over, prompting Gabriel to drape a leg over Jacks’ and slip the other between his, an arm lazily slung over his lover’s side with the other snuck beneath the body in attempts to stretch out and reach for Jack’s. Once limbs slid against one another, lengthy digits twined and clasped together like locks. The soldier brought their hands to his face, grazing his lips over Gabriel’s fingers gently. The deep rumbling from his lover’s chest had lips curving into a bright smile in seconds. A puff of heated air danced against Jack’s neck, a pleasant shiver running down his spine.

The same position had been recreated from the first time they had slept together, their first time spooning. Only exception was the kitten that had used the legs of her owners as a pathway to their visages, teetering quietly before she could curl up into a ball against Gabriel’s cheek.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sorry for the shitposting or the kitten  
> but I will be sorry for the thing I do to Gabriel in the next chapter  
> god I'm going to be so sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry it's nearly 10:30pm and I've been awake since like 4am this wasn't meant to happen bUT malformed Reaper has been eating the ever living shit out of my brain for the past 5000 days and I just had to write something  
> let me just  
> slap down my tumblr so we can have some good ol' chats about reaper76 and other shit  
> https://reaperpounder.tumblr.com/  
> if you can't see, I'm a proud customer from the buy-a-and-by-a-we-mean-the-only-valued-customer-from-hot-topic pounder store


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